You talk to yourself in ways you'd never speak to a friend, a child, or even a stranger, snap at yourself for the slightest thing, replay mistakes in your thoughts over and over again, and catalog what's wrong in your life.

Sound familiar?

Here's what most of us don't realize: We've normalized being cruel to ourselves to the point that we are unaware of inflicting self-harm in this way. And because it's so constant, so automatic, we don't even notice that we're doing it. When what actually should be normalized is the knowledge that you are a loving, Divine being, despite anything to the contrary that you have experienced in life.

One of the reasons I wrote Your Intuitive Nudge: A Step-by-Step Guide to Connecting with Your Intuition is to address this, but since then, I've realized there's more to say. Awareness is never-ending, and writing a book has to end. Let's consider this a prelude to Your Intuitive Nudge, a prelude centering the foundation that makes everything else possible: You are inherently worthy. Not because of what you've achieved, but because of what you are. I invite you to recognize this one fundamental truth. Accessing more intuition, fulfilling your desires, and living authentically all flow from that.

This isn't just a nice idea. It's practical. When you stop inflicting self-harm through lack of authenticity and start recognizing your true nature, everything shifts. Your intuition becomes clearer. Your desires come into focus. Your path forward reveals itself.

But first, let's talk about desire, because that word carries baggage. Whether you want inner peace, a new career, better relationships, or financial freedom, it's all about desire. There are multiple ideas about desire being "good" or "bad." Some spiritual teachings state that desire is the root of suffering. Others believe it's the compass to manifestation. I'm saying something simpler: desire is just wanting something. No moral judgment attached.

Here's what you should know: whatever you superficially want is actually pointing you toward a deeper truth about yourself. Some of us are closer to understanding that truth than others, and that's okay. We're all on a journey toward love (or if that word feels too soft, let's call it truth—they're the same thing).

Normalizing your worthiness by recognizing your non-physical self will help you receive what this book offers. This level of awareness will allow you to access your intuition and fulfill the desires you want to experience in life.

So, how do you actually begin this recognition? Let's start with awareness, through identifying the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways you're being harsh with yourself, recognizing that your non-physical self is key, and clarifying what you truly desire (versus what you think you should want).

Identifying the Subtle (and Not-So-Subtle) Ways You're Being Harsh with Yourself
Harshness often hides in ordinary thoughts. It can sound like:

• "I should already know this."
• "That wasn't good enough."
• "I need to do/be more."
• "Other people seem more together than I am."

These thoughts constrict the body and shut us off from truthful messages that come from our intuition. Subtle ways we do this include tension in your body when you think about yourself (such as a clenched jaw or tight chest) or avoiding rest because rest feels "unearned."

Practice: For a week, notice when you feel constricted inside and notice when that's a signal you're being harsh with yourself. Ask, "What am I believing about myself right now?" Write the sentence down. Then, gently question it: "Would I say this to a friend I love?"

Recognizing Your Non-Physical Self
Your non-physical self is the awareness behind your personality, the highly intelligent, still, quiet presence that witnesses everything. When you reconnect with it, you stop identifying only with your gender, culture, roles, and achievements, and you begin to understand that your worth is inherent. This is key because self-criticism thrives when we think our value depends on performance. The moment you rest in your deeper self, that calm presence that watches your thoughts, the need to earn worth dissolves. You realize you are already it.

Practice: Sit for a few long breaths, taking seven-second inhales and exhales. Feel your body while your breath moves around it, and even let yourself feel your breath in your toes. If you never have, you can; it's just an awareness. Then notice: I'm aware of my thoughts. I'm aware of the sensations I feel in my body. That's your non-physical self.

Clarifying What You Truly Desire (Versus What You Think You Should Want)
"Should" desires are noisy and anxious; true desires feel alive, peaceful, and a little vulnerable.

Practice: Write down what you think you want in relation to your career goals, finances, relationships, etc. One by one, ask: "If I imagine having this, does my body relax or tense?

• Relaxed → probably aligned with your soul.
• Tense or pressured → might be a "should."
• True desires feel like relief and invite expansion.

A Note on Discomfort: Expanded Awareness Can Feel Uncomfortable and Why That Is Natural and Okay
We usually think that seeing our beauty or strength will only feel good, like pure joy. But in reality, it often stirs up a mix of tenderness, disbelief, and even discomfort. That's because we're touching parts of ourselves we've either taken for granted, minimized, or hidden to stay safe or fit in.

When you start seeing yourself—really seeing—you're meeting your own wholeness. And that's intimate. It can feel almost like standing in front of a bright mirror after years in softer light: beautiful, but a little dazzling, maybe even overwhelming. You might even notice moments of wanting to shrink, or to justify it: "Who am I to feel this way?" That’s a normal reaction when you step out of old self-concepts.

The discomfort isn't a sign you're doing something wrong—it's actually a sign of self-recognition. You don't have to do more to deserve what you're seeing in yourself. You're letting yourself feel the reality of who you've been all along. It's new, so your body and mind are just adjusting. You're simply catching up to your own light.

This work that you just did aligns you with greater awareness of your worthiness and where you may need a little more support. Your Intuitive Nudge: A Step-by-Step Guide to Connecting with Your Intuition demonstrates this in much more detail. The book calls attention to what you can control about how you are being, so you can fully align with your intuitive potential.

In the book, you'll learn how to access the guidance that's always been available to you, how to trust it even when it doesn't make logical sense, and how to let it lead you toward the happiness that is your birthright. Your intuition is in you for exactly this purpose. Your ability to experience more requires that you expand into it. Letting more of who you are emerge—little by little—will change how you see yourself, everyone else, and all of life.

You can also visit bodywayintuition.comfor information on a twice-monthly book club with workshops to discuss the book. You can also email workshops@bodywayintuition.com for additional information.

XO,
Eboni